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On Language
by T. W. Greene
All languages are different from one another. This is because all cultures are different from one another, and there are sentiments that must be expressed in some countries that cannot be verbalized concisely in others. For example, the French say the word "ennui" -- which means to be bored yet snobbish -- while the Germans say the word "schadenfreude," which describes the uniquely Kraut phenomenon of "being happy about misery." What follows is a list of arcane foreign words that are exclusive to their native tongues.
castledorf: An English word used strictly in Ireland, this verb describes beating somebody to a pulp following a soccer match because they insulted the province in which your Great Grandfather once spent a summer.
le pieu: This noun, popular in both France and Switzerland, depicts a person with the ability to enjoy a lunch of Brie and white wine while his next door neighbor is being put to death in a gas chamber. It is generally used as a compliment.
karanchinit: This African noun describes the least-favored of a wealthy land-owner's multiple wives; it is traditionally the "Karanchinit's" job to attend to her husband when he is drunk, sexually impotent, or has wet his pants.
habarashi: A popular Arabic word, as well as the fundamental tenet of Islam, "Habarashi" loosely means "selling a carpet to a white person."
barranar: A Spanish term predominately used in Mexico and South America, this verb is applied when a Judge acquits the nephew of a prominent politician after that nephew has been videotaped assassinating the leader of a rival political party, usually by poison or point-blank shooting.
ohyesallvejuhtable: Chinese for "in my country 'vegetarian' means 'cheap dog meat.'"
bblandob: An esoteric Turkish expression, this term is used strictly in prison, generally following a beating, raping, torture-session, or unsatisfactory supper.
schleinech: This ancient Yiddish word describes the act of plucking a penny off the street and tossing it from the right to left hand so it appears that the scavenger is merely grabbing the coin because he deems it "lucky." Although this particular sentiment is restricted to Yiddish, the Scottish have something of an equivalent in their popular phrase: "That's right I've found me a frookin' one-p now BUZE OFF YA WEE BASTAD!!!"
afrotee: Swedish for "licking perfume-coated sweat off of an ideally shaped bosom while vacationing at an artificial lake."
banai: This Japanese expression describes the guilt a businessman feels upon hitting his alarm clock's snooze button and sleeping through a weekend sunrise; it frequently brings great dishonor to said businessman's wife and children.
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