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What To Do With Our CEOs?
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GEORGE SAUNDERS
Writer
I don't really know what else we can do with them, other than praise them -- for their excellent accomplishments, their positive attitudes, and their ability to, by skillfully working within the system, build a better world -- for themselves, yes, but also for us. I think we should especially praise those who aren't very good at it; the ones who go from corporation to corporation, leaving them just as they were, or even running them slightly into the ground, all the while collecting huge salaries and bonus packages, until finally they really screw one up and are fired, at which time they get rich again by writing a "how to succeed" book. We should also praise them for being smart enough to earn up to 50 times what their average worker is making. You think that's easy? You try it! My average worker, "Mo," makes ten dollars an hour. Which means I would have to make $500 dollars an hour to be as smart as the average CEO. Which, guess what? I don't. I am doing this interview right now, answering this question: for free. So who's the idiot, me or your average CEO? I'll tell you who: Me. "Mo" agrees. "Mo," what are you doing, reading over my shoulder when you're supposed to be fanning me? I may have to cut your pay. Ha, ha, just kidding. Put down the cudgel. Go trim the sheep, "Mo," I don't want to get into a big thing with you.
Illustration by Mike Reddy
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