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What To Do With Our CEOs?
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MICHAEL J. ROSEN
Writer, Former Thurber House Director
Abraham Maslow, father of self-actualization, once said that if the only tool you possess is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. Actually, it can't require much fatherly stature to suggest that hammer-headed CEOs everywhere have a screw loose! They need other tools to appreciate the human machinery that floats their boat on a sea of wealth.
In lieu of a $450/hour session with the too-late psychologist, I'd recommend that for every extra digit that a CEO's salary exceeds the lowest paid employee in his or her company, the CEO spend one quarterly earning period contemplating company operations not as a metaphorical hammer, but as one of the following tools: a dandelion weeder, a saws-all, a fistful of extra-fine steel wool, an oyster-shucking knife, a table crumber, a pair of extra-small latex gloves, or a staple remover. The real challenge, of course, as "things" begin to look a little different, is how to use such personal transformations to create lasting corporate change, inspiration in the workplace, increased profits -- and still manage a little insider trading.
Illustration by Mike Reddy
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